Dash Reviews…The Lost Boys

Hey! What’s going on, everybody? This is the one and only Dash Jordan making a most triumphant return. I know it’s been a while since I’ve talked to you guys, I’ve just been very busy and haven’t had time to give you guys any new material. I’m also aware that I’ve missed a lot of new movies in the past couple of months. I have seen them, I just haven’t had the time to review them, but I will try to make time for them in the near-future. For that, I’m sorry. But, don’t worry. I think that I’ll be able to make it up to you all today. Today, we’re celebrating and partying all night. Besides, I couldn’t possibly let ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ be the last thing I ever review.

Ugh! So, let’s wash that sweaty taste out of my mouth. Because the Voice of the Voiceless is back, baby! Time to go back to something that’s TRULY sexy…the friggin’ 80s!

The 80s was a pretty cool place if you’re a Martian…or a critic. Oh, and HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY!!!

‘The Lost Boys’ was a 1987 vampire-comedy directed by Joel Schumacher. The film follows two boys as they move in their grandfather’s house in the town of Santa Carla, which is also known as the “Murder Capital of the World” due to the frequent deaths and disappearances surrounding the town. The older of the boys, Michael, becomes infatuated with a young girl who is a part of a mysterious gang of misfits who want Michael to join them. meanwhile, Michael’s little brother, Sam, meets with two eccentric comic book store owners who also claim to be Vampire hunters, and they try to save Sam’s brother and stop the murders which may very well be caused by all the damn Vampires.

The film was released on July 31st, 1987, making well over $30 Million at the box office against its $8.5 Million budget, and receiving fairly positive reviews from most critics at the time. After 30 years since its release, ‘The Lost Loys’ celebrates its 30th anniversary and is still regarded as a cult Horror-Comedy classic. So, how does it hold up?

Umm…how do you think? It’s about the most 80s thing you’ll ever see in your life. Depending on who you talk to, this is both a hilariously-bad thing and a hilariously-awesome thing. The movie is simply dripping with everything 80s; from the style and lingo to the film’s own soundtrack. Also, if you’re wondering why I’m not also doing a Dash Tunes review on the soundtrack, USE YOUR BRAIN! The soundtrack is amazing. Sure, the soundtrack is mostly a cover album with the likes of Echo & The Bunnymen, Tim Cappello (you know…the shirtless, Saxophone guy!), and Roger Daltrey doing covers of songs like ‘People Are Strange’, ‘I Still Believe’, and ‘Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me’, respectively. But, there’s no denying that these are awesome covers that do both a fantastic job of staying true to the spirit of those original songs while also adding the spirit of the movie. Not to mention, there’s also a slew of great original music like Lou Gramm’s ‘Lost in The Shadows’, Gerald McMann’s ‘Cry Little Sister’, just to name a few. Oh, did I mention that ‘Cry Little Sister’ is one of the greatest movie themes of all time…just saying.


Anyway, back to the movie. As with any movie (that isn’t ‘Kung Fury’), ‘The Lost Boys isn’t without its problems. Personally, I found Dianne Wiest’s character as the mother a little too annoying in most scenes, Michael (played by Jason Patric) seemed too dull in the first half, the romance between Michael and Star felt a little too forced, and…is it just me or does it seem like the blood in this movie is a little too “sparkly”?…oh, no!

Shut The Hell Up! Anyway, what makes the film truly excel despite some of its own shortcomings? Now, could everyone take a deep breath for a moment? Because you might not like what have to say…okay, you ready? It’s Joel Schumacher’s direction.

Now, everyone! Calm down! Calm down! Just forget about the Bat-nipples, the ice jokes, and Gerald Butler’s auto-tuning ass for a just a moment! Look, even Francis Ford Coppola has made bad movies in his career. Nobody’s perfect, and people really to start acknowledge that Joel Schumacher can be a very competent director when he wants to be. With that said, ‘The Lost Boys’ is probably one of the best films he’s ever made. The amount of atmosphere and scope put in every shot is simply amazing, as it adds that much of the dread and dreamy feel of the film. Especially, with all of the overhead shots flying over the film’s fictional town. I know, the vampire characters were supposed to be shown flying in these scenes, but it wasn’t in the budget. If you ask me, it works a million times better and I commend the film’s crew for working with the best that they got.


Now, I talked briefly about the acting in this movie. But, the rest of the acting is still really good. Sure, Jason Patric was a little dull in some parts, but he’s still passable in other parts and I loved the brotherly bond his character has with the character Sam (played by the late, great Corey Haim). As for one-half of the Coreys, Haim was also enjoyably corny and funny in this movie. Then there’s Corey Feldman, who’s clearly having fun hamming things up as Edgar Frog, as is Alan Frog (played by Jamison Newlander) and Michael and Sam’s grandfather (played by Barnard Hughes). Oh, did I forget to mention that this movie has probably one of the coolest friggin’ dogs in film history and is one of the best things about this movie?…just saying.

…I love that dog. Alright, let’s talk about the title Vampire characters in this movie; the actual Lost Boys themselves. Marko (played by Alex Winter), Dwayne (played by Billy Wirth), Laddie (played by Chance Michael Corbitt), Paul (played by Brooke McCarter), Star (played by Jami Gertz), and the vampiric leader, David (played by Kiefer Sutherland)…what can I say about these guys?

These are probably some of the coolest Vampires ever put to celluloid, blood and the 80s literally run through these guys. Granted, I wished that some of these guys had more to work with like Alex Winter, who probably most well known for his role as Bill is the ‘Bill & Ted’ movies. However, the two standouts from the group have to be Jami Gertz as the half-Vampire Star, who is both tragic and…just, downright friggin’ gorgeous.

So…wait, what was I talking about before? Oh, the other standout performance out of the Vampire characters is obviously Kiefer Sutherland. He doesn’t even have that many lines in the whole movie, but Jack friggin’ Bauer don’t need any extra lines. In fact, it’s because of Sutherland’s snarkiness and charm that adds to the character of David; making it all the more memorable.

David approves…anyway, I can’t stress enough when I tell each of you guys to please drop your picket signs and forget what you think you know about Joel Schumacher. At least, for one night. Just the sheer fact that the movie has been a cult classic for this long and is still quoted to this truly speaks volume to the importance of ‘The Lost Boys’. Trust me, it’s not just because of the film’s 30th anniversary. I was planning on reviewing this movie around Halloween anyway. But, I just couldn’t possibly pass up the chance to talk about ‘The Lost Boys’ on such a perfect time. The movie’s not perfect, by any means. In fact, think that the very same 80s charm that charges this movie is also what hurts it in some places. At the same time, however, ‘The Lost Boys’ is still a fun watch with hilarious 80s cheese, some genuinely funny moments, a few good creepy moments, amazing music, beautiful atmosphere, and awesome acting from the majority of the cast. With that said, if you happen to find the movie, buy it immediately. Or, if you happen to have a copy lost in the shadows somewhere, say hello to the night and celebrate the one thing about living in Santa Carla that no one could ever stomach…


Once again, happy 30th anniversary to one of the best Vampire movies from the 80s and one of my personal favorites. Also, guys…if you wondering why I’ve been gone for so long, I’ll try to explain why next time. but, I promise, I WILL do everything I can to make sure you don’t have to wait long for the next article. Until then, Gotta Dash!

Rating: 7.5/10

Written by Shane Moose

Special thanks to the three big F’s in my life(Friends, Family & Fans) for helping me get this far, pushing me to go even further and for putting up with me when I try going further than that. To hell with my limitations!

The Lost Boys(owned by Warner Bros.)

Fifty Shades Darker(owned by Universal Pictures, & Michael De Luca Productions)

Twilight(owned by Summit Entertainment, Temple Hill Entertainment, Maverick Films, Imprint Entertainment & DMG Entertainment)

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World(owned by Universal Pictures & Big Talk Films)


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