Hey, everyone! It’s the Dash-Man and I’m sure you guys are just about sick and tired of me ranting on and on about 2016. Well, I’m tired of talking about it, personally. So, I guess we all gotta suffer.
Okay, okay, fine…I promise I’ll move on to different things after this last list. I may have hated this past year, but I’m willing to admit that it wasn’t all that bad. Despite all of the tragedy, sadness, loss of life, and Hillary Clinton’s death glares, 2016 has given us some pretty good moments. Some of those moments had to be experienced at the movies. Today’s we’re gonna relive some of the best films 2016 had to offer. Finally, something positive!
Yes, yes, thank you. I know I’m amazing and I do treat you well. Well, consider this your treat for dealing with my madness this whole past year. So, this is it! This is the Top Ten Best Movies of 2016. Let’s get crackin’!
#10-Ratchet & Clank
Yeah, yeah, yeah, feel free to hate me. Before you guys try to tell me how I’m wrong or I’m an idiot because ‘Ratchet & Clank’ only got a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes…let’s not forget, they also gave the ‘Ghostbusters’ reboot a 73% and that movie was a million times worse, so shut your mouths when grown folks are talking.
Unlike the ‘Ghostbusters’ reboot which saw fit to nearly cause an international incident among fans, ‘Ratchet & Clank’ actually goes out of its way to simply please and entertain the fans. Great animation that practically changes nothing from the games, plenty of hilarious jokes and easter eggs, and enough respect and charm to possibly help this film gain some more positive attention in the future.
Let’s face it, ‘Assassin’s Creed’ kinda sucked. As for ‘Warcraft’, say what you will about that movie, but people noticed ‘Warcraft’. I truly think that a lot of people have really missed out and misjudged the biggest underrated gem of 2016…seriously, how can you guys hate the Sheepinator?
#9-The Jungle Book
Damn it, Disney! Another one? I still hate the idea of you guys doing unnecessary live-action remakes of your classic movies. Especially since there’s been plenty of live-action adaptations of Rudyard Kipling’s works. But I must say, Disney got lucky with this one. So much so, that I’m actually kind of anticipating the upcoming sequel. That’s how good of a director Jon Favreau is, apparently. Combining some of the more serious elements of the original books and borrowing A LOT of the charm and comedy from the 1967 Disney classic are what truly helped the film gain its own identity…I’ll even admit, the child in me was both shocked and happy to hear music from the original movie. Didn’t need to be there, but thank you.
Aside from the fond memories, I also have to admire the sheer scope and size of the movie. The visuals alone turned out to be more amazing than I thought it would’ve originally turned out; these characters and this jungle truly came to life in this film. But the absolute heart of this film is its score and its cast. I already mentioned how we got to hear some of the classic tunes from the animated original, but composer John Debney also made some beautifully-written original music, as well. So beautiful, that I had to listen to it again on my laptop after watching the film. The cast…what can I say? That friggin’ kid who played Mowgli, Neel Sethi, the breakout performance and I would not mind seeing what else he can do in the near future. As for the animal characters, they may not have been as memorable voices as the original, but this was practically a line-up of some of my favorite actors and they were all cast perfectly. The standout performances being Bill Murray as Baloo, Idris Elba as Shere Khan, and Sir Ben Kingsley as Bagheera. This movie was just fun and I wasn’t even expecting it. You’re on a roll so far, Disney. Don’t screw it up with your live-action remakes of ‘Beauty & The Beast’, ‘Mulan’, ‘Aladdin’, ‘Peter Pan’, ‘Pinocchio’, and ‘The Lion King’ that nobody friggin’ needed or asked for.
………alright, let’s just move on then…
#8-Batman: The Killing Joke
Screw the controversy! We all know that the only thing that’s keeping DC Comics afloat right now is the Animated Universe, Alan Moore’s ‘The Killing Joke’ is the greatest Joker story EVER written, Bruce Timm and his team were absolutely faithful to the original story, the animation pays tribute to Brian Bolland’s artwork from the comic, it was actually released in theaters, and even got the R rating to fit the story’s tone…and you guys are complaining about the added Batgirl filler to make the movie as long as a friggin’ movie? Batman screws someone he shouldn’t have, I DON’T CARE! Yeah, because Batman has NEVER done that before! Oh, and the implied “rape” of Batgirl? First off, Barbara Gordon getting raped by The Joker has been implied SINCE the comics! Secondly, it’s okay for you people to complain about how this crazy and deranged supervillain “might have” raped Batgirl off-screen in a cartoon, but you guys don’t say anything about how the relationship between The Joker & Harley Quinn is portrayed ON-SCREEN in ‘Suicide Squad’? Yeah, shut up!
*ahem* Sorry for the rambling. The point I’m trying to make is that this was the Batman/Joker story we’ve waited for years to see and it’s the DC Animated Universe at its finest. If we never see Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill return as Batman and The Joker ever again, at least I can say that ‘The Killing Joke’ was one hell of a way for these two legends to go out. Say what you will about the film’s first half, but the rest of the film more than makes up for it as you hear Alan Moore’s words being read by the two men who are arguably considered the best Batman and the best Joker. This was not a movie, it was more like an event. Alan Moore may not approve…as always. But, I loved it.
#7-Captain America: Civil War
Ahh, yes, more comic book storylines the fans always wanted to see. This time, from Marvel Studios and the House of Mouse. I’ve already mentioned in my review of this movie that the film does suffer a little bit because it felt more like an Avengers film rather than a Captain America film and from not having a more interesting villain. However, the good outweighs the bad in this case.
Hey! How you doing, Spidey? Anyway, I like to think that this film was really just a showcase of everything great that Marvel Studios has to offer. The sight of seeing some of our most beloved Marvel heroes duking it out is truly a spectacle for every fan, great and small. Great performances from the veteran cast, as always. But, by far, the highlights of this movie has to be Tom Holland as the new Spiderman(I’ll be keeping an eye on you, kid.) and Chadwick Boseman the debuting Black Panther. In this war for comic book movie supremacy, I think we can all guess who’s side we’re all on…
Hmm, speaking of which…
IT’S ABOUT FRIGGIN’ TIME! We’ve seen plenty different variations of superheroes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe; vigilantes, government operatives, robotic suits, superhumans, mythical gods, aliens, and talking raccoons. All great, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking…when the hell are they gonna throw magic into the mix? They finally did it and they did it with a bang in this highly-imaginative action-fantasy.
I know I mentioned how ‘Civil War’ was a spectacle because of the idea of some of Marvel’s greatest heroes fighting each other on the big screen. But ‘Doctor Strange’ was a REAL spectacle in every sense of the word. Great effects, brilliant direction, intriguing story, and a pretty stellar cast to boot; lead, of course, by the amazing performance of Benedict Cumberbatch as the titular Sorcerer Supreme. No surprises, Marvel does it again and I can’t wait to see more.
I think it’s safe to say that Disney was on a roll this past year. Sure, I still miss good ol’ 2-D animation, but I can’t ignore the amount of time and hard work put into the look of this world and these characters. No lie, these are probably the coolest and most beautiful-looking animal characters ever animated. You know, at least until the furries come and ruin it for everybody.
Eww, too late! Anyway, this was a really tough call because I also enjoyed Disney’s ‘Moana’. I suppose I’ll be nice and give ‘Moana’ an honorable mention. As good as that movie was, ‘Zootopia’ just barely surpasses it. Mainly for its sharp comedy, animation, casting, and the ’48 Hrs.’ inspired story that bravely touches on the topics of political correctness, discrimination, corruption and acceptance in a bold and witty way. You did good, ‘Zootopia’. You were a lot smarter than I thought you would be.
#4-Kubo & The Two Strings
Sorry Warner Bros. & Disney, but it appears that this little film got you both beat for animated feature of 2016. I had high hopes for this movie, and it exceeded every expectation. This was from the same studio that brought us ‘Coraline’ and ‘ParaNorman’, and they didn’t disappoint one bit.
As a lover of animation, I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s been a good while since a movie like this has ever made me teary-eyed. It wasn’t just from the unique animation style, but it was also because of its love of Japanese culture, very simple and relatible story, instantly-memorable characters, and its downright gorgeous music. I could listen to the film’s score AND that cover of ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ all day. I was really impressed by director Travis Knight as this was his first feature. He has a very bright future ahead of him, I absolutely adored this movie. If this movie doesn’t win an oscar for Best Animated Feature, I WILL riot! ‘Nuff said.
No two ways about it, this was a movie made for the fans and by th-
Wade, come on! If it will make you feel any better, you were a solid contender for the number one spot for a while.
I already mentioned before, THIS was the Deadpool movie we’ve been waiting for and we never thought we would see; vulgar, violent, and unapoligetic. I think it’s safe to say that Ryan Reynolds has finally redeemed himself as he’s given full-range to go balls-to-the-wall crazy in the role. It’s gory like it’s supposed to be, it’s sophmoric like it’s supposed to be and it’s getting a sequel like it friggin’ deserves it. Any movie that can knock ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ off its high horse as the Highest Grossing R-rated film of all time automatically earns my respect, but ‘Deadpool’ took it to a whole ‘nother level.
Come on, DP. Don’t be like that, alright? Don’t want to at least stick around for a while and see why I had to bump you back two spots?
#2-Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Unfortunately, it wasn’t good enough to grab the #1 spot like ‘The Force Awakens’ did last year, but it was still an amazing new experience from the Star Wars franchise. It all sounds, looks, and feels like Star Wars…but its different. That’s what I appreciate more than anything.
The amazing effects, the action, the darker story, the music, and some of the most BADASS DARTH VADER MOMENTS EVER would’ve been more than enough to rank this movie so high on the list. But what really made this movie a real “force” to be reckoned with are the characters and the actors who played them. As I’ve mentioned before last month, if you can take a group of rebels who everyone knows aren’t going to survive in the franchise and make them so likeable that you generally feel concern, that’s when you know you’ve struck gold. I, for one, am excited to get all these different ‘Star Wars’ movies that are outside of the central plot in the future and it’s all thanks to ‘Rogue One’. Turns out those walking bullseyes sacrificed a lot more than we thought, huh?
Yeah, she sure is…Damn it, Wade! I know you’re still a little pissed but I’m trying to be professional here.
You sure? Okay, you asked for it, I think my choice is gonna blow your friggin’ mind. Here we go, ladies & gentlemen! The #1 Best Movie of 2016 is…
I mean, Jesus! This movie was one hell of a surprise. Yeah, yeah, I know that the movie is technically from 2015, but it wasn’t released in theaters until February 2016. So, you know what you can do now, right?
Some of you may remember that this movie had the distinct honor of being my 100th review, as well as being rated with a perfect 10 out of 10. If you do remember, then you already know that I didn’t just give that kind of rating just to be friggin’ cute. Robert Eggers has made probably one of the most perfect horror film I’ve ever seen in my life.
What else could I possibly say about ‘The Witch’? It’s absolutely inventive, authentic to the time period it takes place, creepy as hell, has amazing acting and practical effects, and truly haunting music. There’s really not much I can say about this masterpiece that I haven’t already said in my review. By far, the best horror film and just the best all-around film of 2016 The cast and crew of this movie have every right to celebrate.
Alright, kids! That was my Top Ten Best Films of 2016. A perfectly good way to end a pretty terrible year, but at least we’re finally done! Finally, 2017 can officially start and it seems like we’re at a pretty good start. Yeah, I actually feel good. Seriously, nothing horrible has happened!
…you dick. Anyway, guys! Until next time, Gotta Dash!
Written by Shane Moose
A special thanks to the three big F’s in my life(Friends, Family & Fans) for helping me get this far, pushing me to go even further and for putting up with me when I try going further than that. To hell with my limitations!
Videos & Photos:
All WWE/WWF related images are property of WWE
Ratchet & Clank(2016 film)(owned by Blockade Entertainment, PlayStation Originals, Sony Interactive Entertainment, Rainmaker Entertainment & Gramercy Pictures)
The Jungle Book(2016)(owned by Walt Disney Pictures, Walt Disney Studios
Motion Pictures & Fairview Entertainment)
Batman: The Killing Joke(owned by Warner Bros. Pictures, DC Comics & Warner Bros. Animation)
Captain America: Civil War(owned by Marvel Studios & Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Doctor Strange(owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures & Marvel Studios)
Zootopia(owned by Walt Disney Pictures, Walt Disney Animation Studios & Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Kubo & The Two Strings(owned by Focus Features & Laika)
Deadpool(owned by 20th Century Fox, Marvel Entertainment, Kinberg Genre, The Donners’ Company & TSG Entertainment)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story(owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures & Lucasfilm Ltd.)
The Witch(owned by A24, Parts and Labor, Rooks Nest Entertainment & RT Features)
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back(owned by 20th Century Fox, Lucasfilm Ltd. & Walt Disney Studios)
Archer(TV series)(owned by Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis, FXP & 20th Television)
Deadpool: The Video Game(owned by Marvel, High Moon Studios & Activision)