Dash Reviews…Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice

Warning: The following article may contain spoilers.

   What’s going on, guys? It’s the Dash-man here, and it’s time. It’s the big one…the film that everyone has been talking about. Well, now some of you are probably wondering how I feel about the film now that I’ve not only watched the movie but also took some time to let the film reflect. So, let’s not waste any time. DC Comics, Warner Bros., tell me…do you suck?

You do! Sort of. Well…

    ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ is Warner Bros. & DC Comics’ most recent big-budget superhero team-up film directed by Zack Snyder, as well as the continuation of what is being called the ‘DC Extended Universe’. The film takes place a little more than a year after the events of 2013’s ‘Man Of Steel’, as it shows the world having mixed opinions on Superman; deeming him as either a savior or a destroyer. Meanwhile, we find Lex Luthor setting things in motion and keeping tabs on a few “recognizable” faces as he vows to kill Superman. Even going as far as to pit our hero against the Dark Knight Of Gotham, Batman; who also happens to have his own problems with Son Of Krypton. Since its release, ‘Dawn Of Justice’ has managed to gross over $500 Million worldwide. However, the film was also met with mixed to negative reviews from critics and fans alike. So basically, it comes down to this. Has ‘Dawn Of Justice’ surprised us and is a dark yet fun comic book adventure, or is this movie just another one of Warner Bros./DC Comics’ pathetic attempts at trying to catch up with Marvel/Disney? Uhh…yeah! Yes, this is another one of Warner Bros./DC Comics’ pathetic attempts at trying to catch up with Marvel/Disney. But, how’s the film itself? Sorry Affleck, but it’s time to be judged yet again.

First off, I would like to address something to my adoring public. I know a lot of people don’t like Zack Snyder as a director. So, I may be in the minority on this when I say that I did enjoy the cinematography of the movie.

Yeah yeah, hate me later. Listen, some of his films may be lacking in substance but he makes up for it with sheer style. I’ve stated before that I enjoyed his remake of ‘Dawn Of The Dead’, but I also liked ‘300’ and I absolutely loved ‘Watchmen’. Seriously, if ‘Watchmen’ was any indication that Zack can handle comic book movies, look no further. The way he films his action scenes with that in-and-out zooming and slow motion effects were meant for comic book films…it sucks that they had to be ‘Man Of Steel’ and THIS movie, but beggars can’t be choosers. But, at least, the man tried his absolute hardest to make this movie look good. So, Zack, you get a pass…this time.

Now, let’s talk about the film’s story. Probably of the key things that keep this movie from being great. Once again…it’s Warner Bros. who were behind the movie. They couldn’t care less about what the fans want, as long as they make money. So, expect a story that takes a backseat to the action, and when we are focused on the story, it comes off a little shaky at times. Trust me, I get it. Some people like Superman, some don’t. Batman thinks Superman will turn evil one day. Lex Luthor wants Superman dead so he plays around with Kryptonian technology and kidnaps his Earth mother, forcing Superman to kill Batman…wait, what? I’m sorry, THAT I don’t get. So, Lex Luthor…one of Superman’s greatest, if not his greatest enemy, kidnaps Martha Kent and literally has the Man Of Steel on his knees and in his command…and he tells him to go fight Batman? Look, I’m sorry. I’m trying really hard not to sound like a raging fanboy, but…Lex Luthor is one of the most intelligent and dangerous criminal masterminds in comic book history. In this movie, HE’S A FRIGGIN’ IDIOT!!! He couldn’t just force Superman to blow up buildings, take over the White House, kill an entire nation of people, or maybe hunt down some of the other heroes that Lex has been keeping tabs on. That’s right! Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg & The Flash had no business in this movie but they’re featured in this movie anyway. Why? Because who wants to wait to have our heroes established before the ‘Justice League’ movie? That would just make too much sense! By the way, I don’t care how awesome and marketable Batman is, he’s still HUMAN! Even if Batman has had plenty of prep time getting his suit and Kryptonite gadgets together, how the hell was Lex supposed to even know what Batman is capable of? Why send Superman to fight Batman anyway? BATMAN WAS READY TO GO KILL HIM ANYWAY! To be fair, though, the fight between Batman and Superman was good…for all of five minutes! Jesus, it’s Venom in ‘Spiderman 3’ all over again! Instead of having a longer fight and a better story, you just skimmed through ‘The Dark Knight Returns’ storyline AND ‘The Death Of Superman’? Not only do you rush Doomsday, but you can’t even get Doomsday to look right? And what the hell was Wonder Woman doing in this movie? Is this ‘Batman v Superman’ or ‘Justice League’, make up your minds already! Why was the audience cheering when she came in? It’s not like we didn’t know Wonder Woman was gonna be in this movie! WARNER BROS. ONLY SPOILED IT FOR EVERYONE IN THE FRIGGIN’ TRAILERS!!!

Wow…I’m so sorry. That is very unprofessional of me, and I apologize. Simply put, the story was not that good and it could’ve used some polishing. Now, you wanna talk about something that’ll really make your head explode? Let’s talk about Lex. Not since the Bat Credit Card has there such a complete outroar from the fans just by saying a person’s name. Watch…*ahem* Jesse Eisenberg!

See? But what makes him suck? Here’s the thing about Jesse Eisenberg. He’s okay in certain movies, but he does tend to be annoying in other movies. We already have a Michael Cera, we don’t need two. This was definitely not the right movie for him, nor was this a role for him. This has nothing to do with the fact that he’s a young actor, my problem is getting a young actor who clearly doesn’t understand the character he’s playing. As I’ve mentioned before, Lex Luthor is supposed to be an evil genius, a businessman, a mad scientist. They may have gotten the mad scientist part right, but everything else was really hard to sit through. I felt more of a threatening presence from the popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth than I did watching Jesse Eisenberg’s so-called acting…it was that bad. Why does it seem like only the animated versions of Lex Luthor are perfect and the live-action versions are more cartoony than the cartoons? By far, one of the worst performances I’ve ever had the misfortune to watch. Eisenberg, if you’re reading this…you are NOT playing The Joker or The Riddler, you are supposed to be Lex friggin’ Luthor! Show some respect to the character and the fans…or quit.

Unlike Jesse Eisenberg, everyone else, at least, acts in this movie. Here’s the thing with the acting in this movie, since some of the actors have already appeared in ‘Man Of Steel’. If you liked that movie, then you’ll like the acting in this movie. If you didn’t like ‘Man Of Steel’, then expect no real surprises here. Yes, that also includes Henry Cavill as Superman. I’ve already mentioned before in my first-ever Dash Rant on the DC Extended Universe that while no one can replace Christopher Reeves.

   But Henry Cavill does, at least, looks the closest to Superman in terms of physicality. In this movie, I think Cavill has gotten better now that he’s more comfortable in the role.

Then there’s Wonder Woman…I’ve never cared much for the character and unlike everyone else, I wasn’t surprised that that she was in the movie. Because get this…I saw her in the trailer already and knew when she was going to come in. But what about Gal Gadot’s performance? It was actually okay. It wasn’t horrible like I was expecting but it wasn’t good enough to make me respect the character. She was just there and her action scenes were adequate. Gal Gadot is incredibly beautiful, but she still has a lot to prove. We’ll just wait to see what else you got when the Wonder Woman movie comes out.

Now, I don’t think I need to mention Jeremy Irons as Alfred too much. No matter how bad this movie would end up, I knew that he would give a great performance. No matter what, Warner Bros. will never cast a bad actor as Alfred. In this movie, Alfred is legitimately funny; giving us a more sarcastic take on Batman’s sidekick butler and it was needed for the dark and gritty angle this movie was trying to take.

   Then there’s Ben Affleck as Batman…Wow! I mean, he’s still no Michael Keaton. But, this was one amazing performance. Ben Affleck nailed it. I mentioned before how I liked the look of the new costume as it looks straight out of the comics, particularly Frank Miller’s ‘The Dark Knight Returns’. I also mentioned that he would be a decent Bruce Wayne, but it was his take on Batman that truly stole the show. Affleck gives us one of the closer interpretations of the character. The way he talks, moves and fights are how we envisioned him. In fact, the way Batman moves with his grappling hook and fighting style looks heavily lifted from the acclaimed ‘Batman: Arkham’ games. I know what I said before about Ben Affleck being a hit-or-miss actor. This is a direct hit! By far, Ben Affleck’s best performance. I was truly surprised.

Oh, and in case you guys are wondering, no. I don’t have a problem with a Batman that kills people. Yes, he’s killed a few people. Because anyone can survive those explosions, right? Who the hell are you kidding? I personally don’t care. I’m sort of in-between when it comes to that sort of thing. Keep in mind, I grew up with Michael Keaton’s Batman who used to kill criminals all the time and he’s my favorite live-action Batman.

But not even Michael Keaton had the friggin’ Bat Brand! I mean, Jesus!

I seriously wanted to hate this movie, and how could anyone blame me? With its unbalanced writing, a rushed story with little to no focus, an overhyped fight scene, all topped with one of the worst performances of all time.

Shut up! Anyway, as much bad as this movie has going for it…and the bad does, in fact, outweigh the good. But, I can’t ignore the good. Great cinematography, decent action scenes, superb acting from the rest of the cast, and probably one of the most entertaining and surprising aspects of this movie is Ben Affleck’s portrayal as Batman.

   Never have I been proven right AND proven wrong at the same time. DC…you got lucky this time. You didn’t give us a complete trainwreck like I had hoped. Instead, you give us a car crash on Christmas…horrible to think about, but pretty to look at. I can’t recommend it, but it’s not as bad as you may think. Watch at your own risk, at least for Batfleck.

  Well, I think it’s time to take a break from all of this comic book stuff. Sorry for the long wait for this review guys. I’ll be back with a new review soon enough, until then…Gotta Dash!

Rating: 3.5/10

Written by Shane Moose

All comic book images owned by DC Comics

Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice(owned by Warner Bros. Pictures, DC Entertainment, RatPac Entertainment, Atlas Entertainment & Cruel and Unusual Films)

Dogma(owned by Lionsgate & View Askew Productions)

Inside Out(owned by Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios & Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)

Nostalgia Critic(owned by Doug Walker & Channel Awesome, Inc.)

Superman(1978 film)(owned by Warner Bros., Film Export A.G., Dovemead Limited & International Film Productions)

Batman(1989 film)(owned by Warner Bros., Guber-Peters Company& PolyGram Pictures)

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